I
used to be a junkie... That was my life. Much like any drug addict, I
would wait for my next fix which would be when the next man or woman of
God was in town. What was my drug of choice? My drug of choice was
prophecy. Every time there was a special program, a visiting man or
woman of God, that was my opportunity to get my next fix. I would wait
anxiously or rather sit anxiously fidgeting nervously here and there
desperately waiting for my word. If there was an altar call, I was the
first in line. If it were a healing line, I'd be there too. But my
ultimate fix was PROPHECY! I lived it!! The 'thus says the Lords' were
my crack and LSD - my means of transportation to another world. A world
in which I was queen where I was the one to whom all answered. The more
outrageous the prophecy, the better, after all, it was always preceded
by "Thus says The Spirit of the Lord." I just had to have my prophecy! I
would surreptitiously push people out of the way edging my way to the
front to get my sip of divine ambrosia. Right about this point in time, I
would begin to have palpitations; my breath caught somewhere between my
belly and my head. I would wait, and wait patiently and then finally
the hand would come upon my head in the words I have waited to hear
would finally reach my waiting itching ears: THUS SAITH THE LORD! And
just like that the 'spiritual cocaine' would flood my system, word after
each 'grandiose image infusing word' when the words were done, I would
float high upon the clouds of spiritual intoxication back to my seat.
This futile exercise I exerted myself in, time and time again. But
unfailingly after each meet, approximately three days later to be exact,
the withdrawal symptoms would start to set in as the euphoria slowly
faded leaving the tattered rags of disappointed hope, of stark, cold
reality. But in spite of all these disappointments, the prophecy-induced
highs and chicken skin lows, and the ups and downs, I never gave up on
wanting to hear the 'perfect prophecy'. Then one day I went to a meeting
desperately craving my next fix; The man of God did not disappoint.
Glorious stories of fame, fortune, and fanfare. Through all
these, I waited impatiently tapping my feet waiting for the moment my fix would come. Then finally the time was right – keyboard music playing softly, angel-toned sister singing in the corner: I surrender all. Yes, I surrendered all all right... All sense of dignity, privacy, and discernment. Gathering myself together, I determinedly made my way to the front of the line. What were they doing getting to the front before me? This time the room was small, and because my Machiavellian moves would be too easily detected, I had no choice but to wait my turn. When I got to ‘the man’ I sensed the 'spirit' Goosebumps all over my body. Arms extended ready for my fix, I waited, and waited, and waited... That day God had a plan for me. He wanted my soul and not my carnal flesh. He wanted to give me a glimpse into GLORY! Somehow in my addicted haze, I recognized that today was a different day. The man did not land on my head as was the custom, but they settled on both my shoulders, and he just stood there. After a while he spoke softly but clearly, these were the words I heard. “You have been running helter-skelter looking for significance, looking for the flash-in-the-pan, the lightning and thunder but today hear my voice speaking to you: "God desires to draw you close. He wants to teach you to see him as Father; He wants to be your Father". THAT WAS IT?! That was my word!? That's all I have for you today he said. "God will teach you to see Him as Father, and in doing so, you will realize your every hope, and dream. All of a sudden I could see clearly, I was cold-turkey sober, but I curiously did not feel the pangs of withdrawal. He had set me free! Now I did not understand at the time why everything was so different all I knew was that it was just that –different! Somehow I would longer worried about whether I would ‘make it’ or not. No longer concerned about the next big ‘word.' Old things passed away but would it last? Day one, day two, day three… I waited for the jerks to begin. For the dissatisfaction to rise in my soul once again longing for the next fix. But it never came! My mind had settled, my heart fixed, my body had quietened. I wish I could say that my journey to spiritual sobriety and recovery was smooth. Most of the time I am sober, but not a few times I have stumbled but each time just before I went down for the count, I would hear THE WORD again reminding me that I am no longer a junkie – I AM FREE! I’m here to draw you close. I’m here to teach you to see me as Father; I am your Father. My name is AdePero Mettabel Okulaja, and I AM NO LONGER A PROPHECY JUNKIE.
© AdePero Mettabel Okulaja, 02.08.17.
these, I waited impatiently tapping my feet waiting for the moment my fix would come. Then finally the time was right – keyboard music playing softly, angel-toned sister singing in the corner: I surrender all. Yes, I surrendered all all right... All sense of dignity, privacy, and discernment. Gathering myself together, I determinedly made my way to the front of the line. What were they doing getting to the front before me? This time the room was small, and because my Machiavellian moves would be too easily detected, I had no choice but to wait my turn. When I got to ‘the man’ I sensed the 'spirit' Goosebumps all over my body. Arms extended ready for my fix, I waited, and waited, and waited... That day God had a plan for me. He wanted my soul and not my carnal flesh. He wanted to give me a glimpse into GLORY! Somehow in my addicted haze, I recognized that today was a different day. The man did not land on my head as was the custom, but they settled on both my shoulders, and he just stood there. After a while he spoke softly but clearly, these were the words I heard. “You have been running helter-skelter looking for significance, looking for the flash-in-the-pan, the lightning and thunder but today hear my voice speaking to you: "God desires to draw you close. He wants to teach you to see him as Father; He wants to be your Father". THAT WAS IT?! That was my word!? That's all I have for you today he said. "God will teach you to see Him as Father, and in doing so, you will realize your every hope, and dream. All of a sudden I could see clearly, I was cold-turkey sober, but I curiously did not feel the pangs of withdrawal. He had set me free! Now I did not understand at the time why everything was so different all I knew was that it was just that –different! Somehow I would longer worried about whether I would ‘make it’ or not. No longer concerned about the next big ‘word.' Old things passed away but would it last? Day one, day two, day three… I waited for the jerks to begin. For the dissatisfaction to rise in my soul once again longing for the next fix. But it never came! My mind had settled, my heart fixed, my body had quietened. I wish I could say that my journey to spiritual sobriety and recovery was smooth. Most of the time I am sober, but not a few times I have stumbled but each time just before I went down for the count, I would hear THE WORD again reminding me that I am no longer a junkie – I AM FREE! I’m here to draw you close. I’m here to teach you to see me as Father; I am your Father. My name is AdePero Mettabel Okulaja, and I AM NO LONGER A PROPHECY JUNKIE.
© AdePero Mettabel Okulaja, 02.08.17.
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